Life Transitions: Finding Your Way Through Change

By Amy Van Arsdale, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist

Life transitions are periods when something important in your life changes. Some transitions are planned and exciting, while others may be unexpected, painful, or outside your control.

Examples include:

• Becoming a parent or becoming an empty nester
• Changes in health or physical abilities
• Starting a new job or retiring
• Beginning or ending a relationship
• Losing someone you care about
• Starting school or graduating
• Changes in family roles or responsibilities
• Financial changes
• Adjusting to a new stage of life

Even positive changes can bring stress. You may feel several emotions at the same time—such as excitement, sadness, worry, relief, or uncertainty. There is no single “right” way to respond.

Why Transitions Can Feel Difficult

During a transition, familiar routines, expectations, and sources of security may change. You may find yourself asking:

• “What happens next?”
• “Who am I now?”
• “Will things get better?”
• “How do I adjust?”

It’s normal for your emotions to fluctuate. Some days may feel manageable, while other days may feel much harder. Adjustment is usually a process rather than something that happens all at once.

Healthy Ways to Cope

Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Try to notice your emotions without judging them. Saying, “I’m having a difficult day,” can be more helpful than telling yourself, “I shouldn’t feel this way.”

Journaling, talking with someone you trust, prayer or spiritual practices, creative activities, and mindfulness can provide healthy outlets.

Focus on What You Can Control

Transitions often involve uncertainty. Ask yourself:

“What is within my control today?”

You may not be able to control what has happened, but you can often choose how you spend your time, who you reach out to, and what small step you take next.

Maintain Basic Routines

When everything feels unfamiliar, simple routines can provide stability. Try to prioritize:

• Regular sleep and wake times
• Nutritious meals
• Physical activity that is appropriate for you
• Time outside or in nature
• Personal hygiene and self-care
• Regular social connection

Small, consistent actions matter.

Take Things One Step at a Time

You don’t have to solve everything today. Break large problems into smaller tasks.

Instead of asking, “How am I going to get through all of this?,” try: “What is one thing I can do today that would make tomorrow a little easier?”

Stay Connected

Isolation can make transitions harder. Reach out to supportive friends, family members, community groups, or healthcare professionals.

You don’t have to have the perfect words. Simply saying, “I’m having a hard time adjusting and could use some company,” is enough.

Be Patient with Yourself

Adjustment rarely happens in a straight line. A difficult day doesn’t mean you are going backward.

Try treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer someone you care about.

When to Ask for Help

Support can be especially helpful when stress, sadness, anxiety, or grief begins interfering with daily life. At Well&Boulder, our team is here to help. Meeting with a psychologist who is trained to closely listen to your concerns, and provide evidence-based coping strategies while collaborating with your medical care team, can be especially useful.

Remember, you do not have to have everything figured out right now.

Transitions can involve both loss and opportunity, uncertainty and growth. Give yourself time to adjust, focus on the next manageable step, and reach out for support when you need it. Change may not happen on your timeline—but you can learn ways to move through it with greater support, flexibility, and self-compassion.